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26 October 2015

Take Over The World With One Hundred Meeelion Euros!

How To Become A Super Villain With EuroMillions (2)

Golden Guns, undersea bases, private islands, a crocodile farm or your very own blimp - just some of the Bond supervillian purchases you can make as a EuroMillions Special Jackpot winner. To be a true Bond badass, however, is to push the very boundaries of extravagence, scientific possibility, common sense and taste. So in part two we look at the farther extreme scale of Bond villainy, including some of the most iconic Bond baddies of all time. 

How To Become A Super Villain With EuroMillions (2)

Spectre, the new James Bond movie, is coming out today and we at Lottoland couldn't be more exited. In our last article we posted a funky infographic on James Bond fighting techniques and before that we looked at how to be a Bond supervillian after winning the EuroMillions Special Jackpot on November 6th. So far we've been playing it safe, in supervillian terms (if such a thing is possible) so now we're going to turn up the laser heat and shoot for the moon!

#6 Alpine Mansion – Ernst Stavro Blofeld

As Seen In: On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

Starring one-hit-wonder George Lazonby as Bond and Telly "Kojak" Savalas as Blofeld, On Her Majesty's Secret service is hugely popular movie with Bond connoisseurs, myself included.

OHMSS has a very different tone to other Bond movies, with equal parts intrigue, action, romance and humour, not to mention tragedy. Its Alpine location also made for some of the most incredible stunts and skiing sequences ever filmed. Not only did OHMSS set a new standard for Bond, it's one of the few early movies you can watch now that still holds up. 

For a taste of the Blofeld lifestyle you can dine at the Piz Gloria restaurant, where OHMSS was filmed, provided you don't mind paying £5 for a small plate of chips. Or, if small chips aren't important to you and you'd rather up the stakes, stay at a top luxury Alpine villa where £50,000 a night is considered a bargain. 

If you want to own an Alpine villa outright then you're looking at a starting price of around £11 million, plus around the same amount to deck the place out like Blofeld with Count de Bleuchamp decór plus a private skilift and helipad. A second hand Huey helicopter from the 60s will set you back around £2.3 million according to our research, though you might get a better deal if you shop around.

Estimated Price: Less than £25 million

Verdict: Forget San Francisco, this is the ultimate view to a kill, and with a discreet banking system too. 

#7 Ice Palace & Rocket Car – Gustav Graves (a.k.a. Colonel Moon)

As Seen In: Day Another Day 2002

Without a doubt the most ridiculous Bond outing of them all. Thanks to its hammy performances and clunky CGI Day Another Day even manages to out-Moonraker Moonraker! Still, this movie does have its moments; it's packed with homages to earlier movies and, as always, there's plenty of exotic locations.

Although Graves' ice palace base was in Iceland, the actual interior shots were filmed at the Jukkasjärvi Ice Hotel in Sweden, where you turn up the temperature James Bond style at the Honeymoon suite for £650 per night.

Of course hotels are no use for Graves, since he never sleeps. Instead he thrives on adrenaline and, in his quest for ever-greater fixes, has taken to rocket sled racing. Hardly a hobby for the short of cash. 

The cost of Britain's Bloodhound, the rocket propelled car set to break a new land speed record, has been budgeted at around £41 million. So we're basing our budget on that.

Estimated Cost: £200 million (for a complete palace plus rocket sled R&D costs)

Verdict: You got a super cool pad (literally) plus a red hot racer, but where's the evil?

#8 Solid Gold Rolls Royce – Auric Goldfinger

As Seen In: Goldfinger (1964)

Getting the car is easy; we managed to track down a Rolls Royce Phantom III Sedanca de Ville for £135,000. A modest outlay for a Superdraw winner – but obviously it would still require quite a lot of restoration.

Then comes the next phase, the Midas retrofit, in order to bring it up to Auric's exact requirements. For that you're going to need gold – quite literally, tons of it!

Goldfinger's Rolls was integral to his gold smuggling plan – large chunks of the limo were replaced with moulded slabs of solid gold. And, as we saw with Scaramanga last week, even the tiniest amount of gold can be quite expensive.

The average weight of one of these Rollers, fully fitted, is 3,500 kilos. So, at current gold prices, that exact weight in gold would cost £85,303,890.

Considering that a kilo of gold would easily fit in your hand (it's less than the size of a Penguin bar; I know because I've loads at home) you're talking quite a lot of gold just to replace the chassis, and therefore quite a lot of money too.

Estimated Cost: £180 million

Verdict: It's possible, and with EuroMillions' maximum rollover value you might just be able to to it, but good luck driving it down the road, let alone flying it to Zurich.

#9 The Disco Volante – Emilio Largo

As Seen In: Thunderball (1965) & Never Say Never Again (1983)

Emilio Largo, Spectre's number two (tee hee!), apparently bought the Disco Volante for just £250,000, or about £4.32 million in today's money. On the outside it appears to be just a normal yacht, however underneath it's a high-speed hydrofoil that can split in two. It also has secret smuggling (Largo's speciality) compartments, which he used to hide two stolen nuclear warheads. The actual boat used in Thunderball cost $500,000, which, when adjusted and converted, comes to £2.45 million in today's money.  

In Never Say Never Again, the 1983 (non canon) remake also starring Sean Connery, the boat went by its English language equivalent, "The Flying Saucer". The real boat used this time around was called the Nabila, whose owners included Saudi royalty and real-life supervillian and presidential megalomaniac Donald Trump. The boat cost $100 million back in 1980, which comes to a whopping £491 million today.

Estimated Cost: Anything between £5 and £500 million – depends how much boat you want to float.

Verdict: These are boat-only prices, before any supervillain modifications, such as hydrofoils, machine guns and cannons, have been made. And of course these days you'll need to be able to keep up with the Ibramoviches if you expect to impress anybody, so realistically you're looking at a half billion, minimum, for a fully-armed hydrofoil super yacht that's able to move at high speed and go toe-to-toe with a modern navy.

#10 Orbital Fortress Of Doom – Hugo Drax

As Seen In: Moonraker (1979)

Aerospace tycoon turned orbital eugenicist Hugo Drax clearly went to the same school of super villainy as Karl Stromberg (another patron of Jaws' henchman services). But while Stromberg preferred to stay under the sea (according to Ian Fleming the Little Mermaid was his favourite movie) Drax took things much further than any supervillain in 007 history, by venturing into outer space with a fleet of space shuttles, laser-toting astronauts and a huge orbital bioweapons platform.

Moonraker was a cynical attempt to cash in on the success of Star Wars, which was released two years earlier. The result was one of the most hilarious and, until Die Another Day, ridiculous outings of Bond's career. Your chances of following in Drax's footsteps? Equally ridiculous  – there ain't enough Superdraws in the world!

When adjusted for inflation the shuttle cost around £20 billion to develop with single missions costing £35 million a pop. Not surprisingly America could ill afford to keep even a small fleet of shuttles running even before the crisis.

Estimated Cost: Probably way more money than the world currently has.

Verdict: Aaah… let's take a second look at that invisible Aston Martin, shall we?